Anyway, I was doing quite well with this (perhaps will itemize later) until I followed a friend into DSW and saw this pretty pair of patent red leather pumps gleam at me invitingly. I mean, I've been daydreaming about red pumps for months. And these were PRETTY little things. The red was right (the kind of red that's shadowed with black), the rounded toes were right, the gloss level was right, the all-leather upper and same-color heel and low vamp were right. The heels were maybe a smidgen high for my taste, but that's hardly a deal-breaker. Here they are, in all their gleaming glory:
|See at DSW: http://www.dsw.com/shoe/js+by+jessica+oscar+patent+leather+pump+?prodId=dsw11prod420023&productRef=SEARCH|
But then I saw that they were Jessica Simpsons. Now, I admit that I have admired a Jessica Simpson piece or two (see a confection of a gold and pink lace dress here) in the past, but this deep prejudice against celebrity vanity lines persists.
Curbed By: My Unfair Distrust of Celebrity Vanity Lines.
That alone wouldn't have stopped me, necessarily, but fortunately, I had a $10 DSW rewards certificate that I'd left at home. I certainly wasn't going to buy anything WITHOUT that coupon. So I left the heels where they stood and followed Marie out of the store.
Curbed By: My Neurotic Fixation With Coupons
The next day, my ardor cooled somewhat, I checked DSW.com to look for reviews. Now, I was prepared to read that they gave you blisters, or that the break-in period was excruciating, or that they were unwearable for more than thirty minutes at a time. I was not prepared to hear that they tended to rip near the toe because the construction was so shoddy, AND that something in the dye made them smell like, and I quote, dog poop. Seriously.
And then I look on Google and it seems that "Jessica Simpson shoes smell" is a documented thing because Google helpfully suggests the end of that search string before I'm even finished typing it.
Curbed By: Who Can Blame Me?!?!?!